you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
