She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
