I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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