Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
