You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
