haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
