I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
