I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
