you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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