I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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