yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
