Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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