the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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