my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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