I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
