is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
