bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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