So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
