I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Holy shit dude........stairs
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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