It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
