dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
