Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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