pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
