Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
