Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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