thus making me awesome and them whores
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
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Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
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Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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