thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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