i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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