She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
