..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize