I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Randomize
