Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
