I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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