At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize