I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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