well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
