So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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