You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
