Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
