my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Mom said you looked used
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.