Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels