matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?