for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.