i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"