Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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