so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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