the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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