Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
