i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
