i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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