i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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