Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
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He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
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Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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