No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
