But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
