I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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