i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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