I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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