How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
