I wish my penis had an off switch
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
