she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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