Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize