i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
