susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I touched a dick in church today
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
