suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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