I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
