You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
