I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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