I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
