bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
