Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
His nipple licking is glorious
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