Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
