On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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